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 angelwthwingz's Cancer BlogJuly 9, 2008
I am just not having any fun here. My second chemo came of just like the first. you know the drill, you go you get stuck, plugged in, take a nap, go home with your steriod high and you are feeling great! That is until the crash or the pain or whatever it is that plagues you personally. This time round for me it was the Neulasta shot, now what the heck is that about. I had some fatigue, dealable, (dealable, yes that is a word I made up, I like it) then on Tuesday I started with a little tingling in my feet which turned to pain that obviously had a road map to my central nervous system and traveled up my legs and wasn’t happy until the pain hit my hips. This is a pain you can’t describe, you have to live it, OH joy for all of us! It makes walking almost impossible, I suddenly went from an active 48 year old taking care of everything I can or would have ever needed to an elderly little parent begging her children for a drink and a few tylenol. So how long does this pain last? Thank God this is all temporary. Today, Wednesday I plan on going into the office and sit at a desk and act as a competant professional, (if I can reach my feet and put on shoes….lol). I have been blessed with a boss that although he is a little overbearing he means well and had a remote office set up in my home, but there is no replacement for peoples smiles and laughter at lunch. Well, that is my plan, wish me luck. 
July 2, 2008
Well tomorrow is my second chemo treatment, I am not looking forward to it, the last one beat me up pretty good. It is so hard to take yourself to these appointments knowing how crappy your going to feel in a few days. I had blood work done today and my WBC fell alittle since I was sent home from the hospital it is now 6.4, not horrid but not great either, I just hope they give me the treatment. I already know that I will be receiving the neupogen or neulasta shots over the next few days to help keep the WBC up, not looking forward to the bone pain. I still have about 50 really stubborn hairs, they refuse to go anywhere, have thinning eyebrows and bald spots on my eyelashes. I just want the darn things to fall out already, all those little hairs end up in your eyes. Finger nails are doing something weird also. I am back on the dexadron so I will probably be awake until they zap me with the benedryl tomorrow. I think I am going to bake some muffins tonight for those nice children of mine for breakfast. Do some dishes, and little laundry…............ I think they give you this dexadron high before the chemo so you can get everything done before you crash and burn. Well going to sign off, keep killing but mostly keep praying. Dear Angel. You go girl. I like the sound of those muffins. I have a quick question. I was diagnosed last year and had same stage, same grade had lumpectomy, and node biopsy. Did radiation but no chemo. What were the reasons for your chemo? Just want to compare notes and ask my Oncologist’s some questions this month in my followup. I am taking Arimidex and a bone replacement drug but no chemo. When you get a chance I would really like to know. Thanks Angel. Angel, I sure hope your chemo goes well. I had my second one last week and boy it seems to have wiped me out a little more than the first. I don’t have much get up and go. I am hoping for the best for you and sending you good vibes from Colorado! hey angelwingz,, those muffins sound terrific Hi Weezie, Love Evelyn Hi Angel, We were diagnosed the same day and you had your first chemo treatment on my Birthday! We are also very close in age, only a year apart. I read your blog before I started mine and noticed the similarities that you pointed out in your comment on my blog. I was going to write you, but ran out of time and energy! Thank you so much for writing. I hope you are doing ok after your 2nd treatment. It sounds like a rough go-round on the first one.
June 27, 2008
After many tests and many, many days in the dreaded hospital I have been paroled. I ended up with gram negative rods in my blood, my WBC bottomed out at .7. After many days of neupogen and heavy duty antibiotics I am home. They let me come home Tuesday evening. I had my children shave the rest of my hair off, it was coming out in fist fulls at the hospital. That is a pain in the *@^, the hair gets everywhere, bangs falling into your food while your eating. And it turns out I still have about 50 very stubborn hairs on my head. I have to do 21 days of antibiotics which doesn’t end until after my next Chemo, which I am not looking forward to. I am hoping that because I tried every side effect including the 5 days hospital stay this round of Chemo would be a little easier. When my daughter uploads pics of my “hairdressers” I’ll be sure to add a few. Blessings to you and yours. Glad you’re home! Welcome home. Interested in seeing the new hairdo. I am glad you are home. I remember how hard it was keeping my WBC up. Just take care of yourself. Dear Angel. You are quie the trooper. I have never had chemno but I know and have witnessed the side effects that it can produce. I hope you make it through without incident. I am curious why they are going this route? I was diagnosed as you were with the exception of the phrase “infiltrated ductal”, of which I don’t know what that means. Perhaps you can describe it to me. The only treatment I have had so far is 26 radiation treatments, daily intake of Arimidex and 4 pills of Clasteon (bisphosphoate) for my bones. Of course the usual many followup CT’s, Bone scans, MRI’s, Mammograms, Ultra sounds you know pretty much all the tests. Maybe it’s because I am in another country and the agressive approach is not that strong. Not sure. I want to ask my Oncologist why you would be getting all these rounds. If you can fill me in I would appreciate that. In the meanime much good luck and hopes that no side effects come in the way. Keep us posted. Weezie So glad to see your message on how you are doing. Relieved to hear that you are home with family helping you out. Your photo’s are moving- Take care- stay strong!
June 21, 2008
Yesterday I woke up feeling wonderful, then my day went downhill FAST! I fell asleep at my desk at around 9:00 a.m., and when I say I fell asleep I am talking I zonked. My daughter who also works with me walked past my office looked in and thought, that’s strange she was wide awake just a few minutes ago. Her scuffling around woke me, and I had a headache the size of Kansas. Taking my temp so that I could enjoy a little tylenol, it was 100.4, good I don’t have to call the doc unless it is 100.5. So just to be sure I thought I should take it again, within minutes it was 100.6….........place that call. They tell me to go to the ER. Arriving at the hospital with 40 minutes or so my temp was 101.6, by the time they got me into a room it was 103. So it turns out they admit me, and I am locked inside of an isolation room, but I figure how bad could it be, I’ll be home tomorrow. NOT! It turns out that the earliest I will be going home is in 3 days, but can be here for 10. My WBC is .7, okay is that even on the rictor scale? Wow what an experience! So your e-mailing from your hospital room? I’m impressed!I’m sending prayers and positive thoughts your way you that your body kicks into defense mode and starts rebounding. I know this is inappropriate but…it is the first thing that came to mind. Angel with wings is HOT!1 Okay just a bit of guy humor. Praying for you. Hugz (with gloves and a gown and a mask and Lysol)
June 13, 2008
Yesterday was the day. I had to be at the hospital a 7:15 a.m., I received a bag of sodium cloride, then the decadron, pepcid, oral compazine, and benedryl. Then the o’so lovely Cytoxin and Taxotere. The day ended for me at 12:45 pm, it went rather quickly, when I didn’t have a reaction to the Taxotere so they sped up the delivery of the drug. So far I have been blessed with minimal side effects. I had leg spasms after they administered the benedryl, they only lasted about an hour and ahalf, hiccups during meals, mild nausea and lastly the metal taste in my mouth. I pray I do not develop any others. Today was rally a good day besides being exhausted from being awake for the previous 28 hours. Blood work for the next two weeks and then I get to do it all over again. They tell me I will most likely be completely bald by day 14, I refuse to walk around with 50 hairs stuck on my head, when it starts falling out I plan on shaving it. Ah decade through IV can cause hot flashes they are the worst. I hope you don’t have those. They are persistent little things, last way too long in my opinion. Stock up on the plastic utensils and lemon flavored hard candy for taking that taste out of your mouth and the dinner wear to prevent more nasty tastes. I’m sure they told you all of this though. :) Glad that things are going smoothly decadron* heh stupid spell check. It sounds like you are really doing well! My thoughts and prayers remain with you for feeling well through treatment! I get the decadron also, so I know what you mean about the energy and sleeplessness. I just try to take advantage of the energy before the tiredness sets in. I also did shave my head when the hair started falling. Once it was out and I got used to the feeling, it wasn’t so bad. You seem to be a very positive person and I think this will help you a lot during your journey through this chemo crap! hugs your way! Ny first time with the chemo was much, much worse than the second one. I hope yours will be more like my second time. You are amazing! Hugz
June 9, 2008So I will be starting chemo this thursday, I will be receiving two different types, Taxotere and Cytoxan. The plan is to do four rounds. After chemo, I will receive radiation for 6 to 8 weeks. Then I will most likely go on Zometa, the length of treatment is no known at this time. On the funny side I also received a prescription for a cranial prosthesis, I was so excited, I thought Oh wow, maybe I can get like Albert Einstiens brain cells or Madam Curie, then I found out it is for fake hair! LOL…....... I love it! I think I know some bald guys that I may donate that script to. Well Thursday is the day, I am excited to get on with my treatments so they can end soon. Thanks to all of you for the support and prayers you send my way. The baby birds hatched today, they are so very precious, as soon as I am able I will send along some pictures. I hear this new drug is good, I hope you do well on it. I hope things go well for you during your chemo and radiation. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Glad to hear your plan is in place. I’m sure you are a little uneasy about starting the chemo, but wanting to get it going. I had cytoxen and taxotere also, but in a little different order with andrimyacin added. I’ll be thinking of you on Thursday, my chemo day as well. I am glad to hear they are recommending radiation as well. This tripple negative crap is nothing to mess around with. I am sure your going to kick the crap out of it. I am interested in hearing more about the Zometa. Hugs your way!
June 4, 2008
I went last night and got about 5 inches of my hair cut off, I will be starting chemo next week and figured I would get a head start on the hair, lol. It is so thick I know I am just a plumbing disaster waiting to happen….. Does health insurance cover plumbers? I added a picture of the new do, not much different from my old one just much shorter. Hope all is well with everyone else, I’m sending my blessings. Your new “do” looks good. But, if your hair is going to fall out for sure (I guess sometimes it doesn’t), why not be brave and get it cut really short——-like a neckline? Just to see what a different style would look like…..Also, my hair hurt a little bit when I washed it during the falling out process. It felt like when I was a little girl and wore it in a tight ponytail, then let it out at the end of the day. It felt good, but hurt a little, too. Just to give you a heads up. I really like your new look. Do you know yet what kind of chemo they will use, or will you find that out next Monday? There are some different combinations that may not produce the same likelihood of hair loss. The combination I am on right now will probably not result in hair loss, but maybe some thinning. The first time I had chemo (andrimayicin, cytoxin)I did have long hair like you. They assured me I would lose my hair and I did get a very short haircut. It did fall, but not right away, it was just before my second treatment and the process took about 4-5 days time just before my second treatment. I have to say I like the texture of my hair just a little better since it has grown back-it seems to be a little curlier with more body and since then have worn it shorter. I’ll be thinking of you. keep us posted on how you are doing! When I got my first trt I cut my hair and it was liberating. Get some fun wigs. I changed my color and style and have two wigs and have fun with them. I am so happy I don’t have to shave my legs and armpits! I do wear scarves. See if they have a feel good program in your area through ACS. They gave out makeup and wigs. Thinking of you and sending you lots of healing energy I like the new cut – and the smile that goes with it in the picture! I know you’ve got a lot coming up this week. Will be thinking about you and sending prayers your way. Love your new hair cut….it looks great. realizing it or not but i am here to tell you that you have to be an angel to have cancer.. But you are very lucky as you are an angel but one who has already recieved her wings… So the great advantage to you have is that you must know God and know of His power to heal,, Sometimes healing takes form in a totally different form than we may expect it to be… So knowing Him then one must turn oneself totally to Him and all that you have,,, Yes i am saying that you must give it to him and let him do what needs to be done.. and that means giving Him your cancer and let His will be done… When they told me 2 1/2 years ago about my cancer ,, i did the same as many people and was angry for 2 days,, and then i realized what Jesus had done for me the pain that He must have suffer ,,,,and yet i was able to realize that God can do anything and everything..So that is exactly what i was able to do, was to turn it over to Him and leave it there with Him… I have never been so much at peace as i was from that day on.. It is now easy,, but one needs to take that step of faith and go and do it.
May 29, 2008
I went to see the surgeon today and she removed the stitch that worked its way through the incision and told me they can feel the others under the skin, I hope they stay there. They did not hurt until two days ago and now they are really sore, but I’m ALIVE to feel them! Wanted to share a little human interest story. I came home from work about one evening about 9 days ago to find my mailbox full of mail, grass, string, leaves, etc. I took out the mail along with everything else and did not think anymore about it. The next day the box was full again, and it took me a second but I realized the mailbox had tenants, so I took my self to Walmart to purchase a new mailbox, I hung it on the opposite side of the porch, put a sign on the old one alerting the mailman of the tenants and now I have the most adorable pair of house finches and four little eggs. A reminder of how precious life is. When they hatch and begin to climb all over the box I will post some pictures. Hope your healing continues on the right track for you! What a pleasant surprise in your mailbox- looks like your taking time to stop and notice the great things in life! Hey my triple negative friend!
May 27, 2008
I thought I was healing nicely, went to the surgeon last week and they told me everything looks great. Well I noticed Sunday evening a thread hanging out of my incision under my arm, lovely. I called the surgeon early this am and was told I should have no stitches that you could see, they were all internal stitches. I also explained that my other incision is very painful and has raised areas that were not there before. It seems these may also be stitches and my body doesn’t like having them so I could be rejecting the internal stitches. So off I go to the surgeon first thing tomorrow morning to see what exactly my body is trying to do, and to have the stitch removed. Really doesn’t sound like much but when you visit doctors as often as we do a week without an appointment is exciting. Well there goes my free week. Will keep you posted!
Posted on May 27, 2008 at 4:22:56 PM by angelwthwingz (
 Like I said..............it's always something,  2 comments)
hugs
I hope its “just” a suture reaction. Wouldn’t it be great if our bodies would expel the cancer, and not the things that we use to try to fix it? I’ll be thinking about you-let us know! Hoping everything is okay…
May 22, 2008
I spent my day in the ER, just when you think your getting it togehter….......... I woke up last night to this horrid pain in my right side, tossed and turned, tried to sleep, key word here is TRIED. Got up with this pain in my side went into my office, tried to do a little work, finally decided maybe I should call the PCP, well he sent me to the ER where they though it might be a kidney stone, never had one previously or any kidney problems. They did a CAT scan and didn’t see anything but after four tubes of blood, urinalysis, the scan and scores of pokes they decided I more than likely passed it. So my question is why the heck does it still hurt? So that’s today’s adventure! so what was/is it? nerves? Who is the beautiful baby? They have no idea what it was, all test came back normal (TY Jesus) the scan was normal, so they told me if it came back they will further investigate. I love how they push it aside until it comes back, seeing the medical oncologist in 6/9 will make sure he double checks the scan. The baby is my new little nephew, actually he is my big new nephew, 9lbs 15ozs, 21 inches long!
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06.09.08 - 
Karin 
Thanks for your support -
Hi Angel,
I’m so sorry to hear the shot is kicking your butt. That’s how I described what it did to me. I felt like I’d been hit by a train. Although my pain started in my mid-section and moved it’s way up. My skin was so sensitive I couldn’t hardly touch it. They warned me I could have a little bone pain, but I was not at all prepared for that. But I guess some people don’t experience it that bad. Oh, lucky us :)
Unlike you, after my first Nulasta shot my white blood cell count went really, really high. I can’t remember exactly but the oncologist said they’d be happy with 4,000 (I could be wrong with that but it’s ok for the sample I’m giving) and my count was up to like 40,000 thousand last week and is now down to 28,000. So he is going to lower my dose of Nulasta A LOT.
I’m wondering if they gave you a pretty good dose since you had such problems the first time.
I was in bed for 3 days, hurting a bunch! And then it slowly went away. I did get some pain pills for it which I think helped a little more than just Tylenol or ibuprofen.
I tried to help myself get through the pain by saying that I think I’d rather have the pain than be really nauseas or vomiting, which I did not have either of.
I’m so sorry you have to work through all of this. I’m very, very lucky that I don’t “have” to work. I’m self employed and able to take all the time I want to deal with and recover from all of this. I can’t imagine “having” to perform, but I know a lot of people do. Boy I’ll be saying extra thank you prayers tonight!
Please though, do not try to over do it. I know that’s easier said than done and I’m the worst at listening to my own advice, but I think in the long run you will be better off the more you can rest early in the game.
I’ll pray that you get feeling better soon. And if you do not . . . call your doctor! I called mine every day for 3 or 4 days when my side effects started happening.
Keep Smilin’
Many Hugs,
Wendy
Sorry you are in such a tough place. My prayers are with you and I hope you feel better.
One of the hardest things about being here is experiencing all this hardship and not being able to do much. One of the best things is knowing my prayers are heard and the One listening can do so much.
Be well and blessed
Hugz
Mac
I am sorry you are having such a tough time. I have had chemo twice at age 52 and then again at 64 and I remember how tough it was. I wish I could make it better for you.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Hugs,
Joyce
Count me in for prayers! =o)
I finished my first chemo last night at 9:30, got home at 11:00, woke up this morning nauseous with a terrible headache! Last night I even changed some words of a song. “Killing me slowly with chemo…”
Best wishes at work today. It always makes me feel better to get out and see everyone.
Hi there, Just wanted you to know I am sending a lot of love XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Thinking of you and wishing you an incredible amount of tolerance during this crappy part. hang in there!
It sounds like we have a few things in common in that I also have 3 grown children. I have been divorced for 21 years and with a recent empty nest it makes things a bit lonely at times. Thanks for your kind words when I received my miracle news that my bone marrow biopsy revealed that I wasa in REMISSION. I was diagnosed almost 14 years ago, so this is a very long battle that seems to be never ending. What did those DOCS know? Stay Strong. Hugs, Patty